Update: Tiger Woods Is Still a Pervert

Update: Tiger Woods Is Still a Pervert

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Part-time golfer and full-time nymphomaniac Tiger Woods did the seemingly impossible today by setting the pervert bar even higher than he had previously set it.

In honor of the holiday season, Tiger Woods did what a lot of 40-year-old fathers of two do at Christmas time by dressing up as Santa Claus. But instead of posing as the jolly old Saint Nick with the red suit and the stocking cap, Woods opted to emulate this version of Kris Kringle.

Ah, yes. The douchebag male stripper version of Santa that kids across the world are so fond of. Instead of milk and cookies, you can leave a pre-workout shake and a protein bar out for him when he delivers gifts to your home a few nights from now.

But seriously. What the hell is going on? We already knew that Tiger was a disturbing sex fiend. Has he now exposed his children to that seedy lifestyle and permanently brainwashed them?

Honestly, there are so many questions that need to be asked about this that I don’t even know where to begin. I guess, for starters, I should inquire as to how this disturbing Woods family “tradition” began? Did Tiger’s kids walk on him having kinky Christmas-themed sex with one of his many side chicks, and this is how he explained it away?

“Xmas tradition that my kids love.” How in God’s name could Tiger possibly be okay with his children loving that? They’re only seven and nine for God’s sake. They shouldn’t even know what a “Mac Daddy” is.

Also, the entire idea behind this uncomfortable tradition is really unnerving. Can you picture Tiger taking off his shirt in front of his young children and asking them to come sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas? Not a pretty picture. Perhaps DSS should look into this.

Someone get a golf club in this man’s hands before it’s too late. Tiger’s long injury layoff has made him even more immoral and disgusting than he already was. Evidently, golf is the only thing that Tiger is remotely good at. Because marriage and parenting definitely aren’t his fortes.

 

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