NFL Hot Takes: Boaty McBoatface

NFL Hot Takes: Boaty McBoatface

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In honor of the well-publicized mishap made by the British government last year, when they decided to let the general public name a new polar research ship worth hundreds of millions of dollars (only to have it named Boaty McBoatface), Odell Beckham, Jr., is now the American version of Boaty McBoatface. After several members of the New York Giants’ receiving corp posed for a heavily ridiculed photo of them on a yacht in Miami with Future and Trey Songz (who was blazing up at the time) earlier in the week, many questioned why OBJ and crew were going on vacation when they had a playoff game right around the corner. Well, OBJ & Co. failed to quiet the criticism by dropping oodles of passes against the Green Bay Packers yesterday, not helping matters in the Giants’ 38-13 blowout loss. The ultimate source of hot takes, the repercussions of the boat photo serve as the biggest takeaways from Wild Card weekend, but there are several other hot takes to discuss, as well.

1. If you’re the most hated/heavily scrutinized man in football, why risk more hatred and scrutiny by taking a shirtless photo on a yacht mere days before your first playoff game? That’s the question that everyone should be asking Odell Beckham, Jr., right now. After breaking the NFL record for garnering the most media criticism in a single season for the most ludicrous shit imaginable (such as basically developing a fetish for a kicking net), OBJ decided, before he played in the biggest game of his life, to do…more ludicrous shit!

If you’re going to fly with Miami with your boys, at least keep it on the down low. Don’t go to a club with Justin freaking Bieber and let him Snapchat the whole thing. And damn sure don’t pose for what appears to be the world’s worst R&B album cover on a yacht with an actual R&B artist holding a joint between his fingers.

2. Also, if you’re going to jet down to Miami six days before a playoff game, make sure it’s not before a playoff game in arctic temperatures against a Green Bay team led by the league’s most dangerous quarterback. Aaron Rodgers decimated the Giants’ defense yesterday and proved (yet again) that he is the king of the Hail Mary.

3. Oh, and one more thing, OBJ & Co., if you’re going to let the world know that you flew down to Miami during the build-up to a playoff game for a day filled with yachting and a night filled with clubbing, don’t completely shit yourself in the game you blew off preparing for. The Giants dropped a BOATload (Get it?) of passes on Sunday, including four critical ones in the first quarter. OBJ dropped a sure touchdown in the opening quarter that could have completely swung the game in New York’s favor. Instead, he was forced to go down with the Giants’ sinking ship.

4. I have a question. Who the hell wears long pants and boots while on a boat in hot-ass Miami? Evidently, OBJ, Victor Cruz, Sterling Shepard and Roger Lewis do. If you’re going to pretend like you’re about that yacht life, at least act like you’ve been there before, fellas.

5. Trey Songz has a point.

Speaking of which, since when did Trey Songz start looking like ’80s Deion Sanders?

6. Did I mention that Aaron Rodgers is playing out of his mind right now?

7. The Packers’ offensive line is impeccable.

8. OBJ is still the master of pretending like he’s angry after a loss. This time, he punched a suspiciously large hole in the locker room after the game.

If he did actually make that hole using only his fist, kudos to him. At least that’s a little more macho and mature than crying on the sideline or throwing a tantrum in front of the media. Oh…wait…he also banged his head on a door. I take back what I said. OBJ is still a massive five-year-old.

9. There were some other games besides that one. They all sucked. They didn’t suck as bad as Bobby Rainey did yesterday, though.

10. The Houston Texans sucked slightly less than the Derek Carr-less Oakland Raiders.

11. The Matt Moore-led Miami Dolphins sucked slightly more against the Pittsburgh Steelers than they would have if they had been the Ryan Tannehill-led Miami Dolphins.

12. Aaaaaaaaaaand the Detroit Lions sucked in the playoffs again. What’s new?

13. Don’t feel bad, Odell! You’re not the only dude in the NFL who relaxes on big boats before playoff games.

 

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