I need to get something off my chest. This article could be very impartial because I am a huge Aly Raisman fan. I didn’t know I was an Aly Raisman fan until about 8 years ago when she dominated the Olympics and then went on to dominate again last summer. Huge fan of everything about her.

Anyway, a few of Aly’s Sports Illustrated pictures came out and one can say that she is very talented at multiple aspects of her life after this.

Colton Underwood or, however you spell her boyfriend’s name, is a very lucky man. That actually brings up another point I need to get off my chests. It’s such bullshit how Colton Underwood started dating Aly Raisman. I’m pretty positive that he half serious/half jokingly asked her out on social media and it turns out that it worked and they’ve been together ever since.

Is that what I need to start doing? Just openly ask girls out on social media without talking to them? Obviously it’s easier for athletes to get girls but he’s barely an NFL athlete. You couldn’t even draft him in ESPN fantasy football this year, so fuck him. What do I need to do to get a girl to answer a text on a Friday night never mind date Aly Raisman?