God I can’t wait for next years draft! Please do me a favor and try not to get too pissy about where I have your team picking (yes, I’m talking to you, Pat’s fans).


#1 Bears: Arden Key, EDGE, LSU

The Bears goofed by taking Trubisky #2 overall this year rather than building their roster and waiting until ’18 to grab their QB.

#2 Jets: Sam Darnold, QB, USC

The Jets are going to suck for a long time. Grabbing their franchise QB to go along a Jamal Adams led defense is a great start when trying to suck less though.

#3 Browns: Derwin James, S, FSU

This kid is the real deal, kid has arguably been the best safety in college since he was a true freshman.

#4 Rams: Christian Kirk, WR, Texas A&M

Finally Jared Goff gets someone on his team that’s qualified to catch a football.

#5 Lions: Saquon Barkley, RB, Penn State

#6 49ers: Josh Rosen, QB, UCLA

#7 Eagles: Minkah Fitzpatrick, CB, Alabama

#8 Jaguars: Josh Allen, QB, Wyoming

This years Carson Wentz

#9 Broncos: Jarrett Stidham, QB, Auburn

(This only happens if my boy Swag Kelly doesn’t work out).

#10 Cardinals: Mike McGlinchey, OT, Notre Dame

#11 Colts: Malik Jefferson, LB, Texas

#12 Bills: Calvin Ridley, WR, Alabama

#13 Chargers: Christian Williams, DT, Clemson

#14 Bengals: Orlando Brown, OT, Oklahoma

They lost about half their o-line this offseason, looks like o’l Marv Lew is trying a new strategy where you don’t block. Good luck.

#15 Dolphins: Da’Shawn Hand, DL, Alabama

This kid may end up going #1, you’ll all know his name soon enough.

#16 Titans: Tarvarus McFadden, CB, Florida State

#17 Saints: Sam Hubbard, DE, Ohio State

#18 Redskins: Kevin Toliver, CB, LSU

LSU continues their reign as DBU.

#19 Bills (from Chiefs): Martinas Rankin, OT, Mississippi State

#20 Panthers: Jaire Alexander, CB, Louisville

#21 Falcons: Da’Ron Payne, DT, Alabama

#22 Seahawks: Mitch Hyatt, OT, Clemson

Russ is in for another long and painful season.

#23 Giants: Josh Sweat, DE, Florida State

#24 Browns (from Texans): Harold Landry, OLB, Boston College

The Garrett/Landry combo will have QB’s quacking in their boots.

#25 Packers: Bradley Chubb, DE, North Carolina State

#26 Raiders: Nick Chubb, RB, Georgia

#27 Vikings: Quenton Nelson, OG, Notre Dame

#28 Ravens: Antonio Callaway, WR, Florida

#29 Patriots: Rashaan Evans, LB, Alabama

#30 Cowboys: Jordan Whitehead, S, Pittsburgh

#31 Buccaneers: Tyquan Lewis, DE, Ohio State

#32 Steelers: Mason Rudolph, QB, Oklahoma State