It was around 3 o’clock in the afternoon yesterday and we were about 10-12 drinks deep and in the middle of a riveting Game Of Thrones conversation when the question arose, “If there was a charge led into North Korea to capture Kim Jong Un, who would be the 7 guys going?” After endless bantering, a group of America’s finest was finally agreed upon.
GOT: Jon Snow, USA: Donald Trump
This is easy money. These two are frontline kinds of guys that live to lead.
Disappointment of the Family/Incredible Warrior
GOT: Jorah Mormont, USA: Jeb Bush
Jeb was more than ready to “Cut the head off of ISIS” if he was elected. Unfortunately he was not, and blew our chances of getting the storied Bush name back in business.
Guy That Hasn’t Been Sober in 10 Years
GOT: Thoros of Myr, USA: Tiger Woods
These guys are icons. Both extremely are unlikely to survive the mission, but still great guys to have around.
Psychopath That Loves to Kill Shit
GOT: Tormund Giantsbane, USA: Bear Grylles
Man, you ever see that episode where Bear cuts off a snakes head and then drinks its blood?! Or when he cuts open a camel to use it as shelter during a sandstorm? He’s the backbone of this mission thanks to his navigation/survival skills, just like Tormund.
The First Guy Off The Bus
GOT: The Hound, USA: Charles Oakley
They’re here for two reasons.
2)To bash skulls open.
The Guy That Can Disappear and Come Back Out of Nowhere
GOT: Gendry, USA: Tupac
Gendry just straight up disappeared for about 4 seasons. And I’m a firm believer that Tupac is alive in Cuba and will one day come back. So yeah, that’s about all these two have in common though.
The Sacrificial Lamb
GOT: Beric Dondarrion, USA: Kid Rock
Beric has died like 6 times or something, and up until yesterday when I saw he was running for Senate I would’ve bet my life Kid Rock was dead.