It was around 3 o’clock ¬†in the afternoon yesterday and we were about 10-12 drinks deep and in the middle of a riveting Game Of Thrones conversation when the question arose, “If there was a charge led into North Korea to capture Kim Jong Un, who would be the 7 guys going?” After endless bantering, a group of America’s finest was finally agreed upon.

 

Fearless Leader

GOT: Jon Snow, USA: Donald Trump

This is easy money. These two are frontline kinds of guys that live to lead.

 Disappointment of the Family/Incredible Warrior

GOT: Jorah Mormont, USA: Jeb Bush

Jeb was more than ready to “Cut the head off of ISIS” if he was elected. Unfortunately he was not, and blew our chances of getting the storied Bush name back in business.

Guy That Hasn’t Been Sober in 10 Years

GOT: Thoros of Myr, USA: Tiger Woods

These guys are icons. Both extremely are unlikely to survive the mission, but still great guys to have around.

Psychopath That Loves to Kill Shit

GOT: Tormund Giantsbane, USA: Bear Grylles

Man, you ever see that episode where Bear cuts off a snakes head and then drinks its blood?! Or when he cuts open a camel to use it as shelter during a sandstorm? He’s the backbone of this mission thanks to his navigation/survival skills, just like Tormund.

The First Guy Off The Bus

GOT: The Hound, USA: Charles Oakley

They’re here for two reasons.

1) Intimidation.

2)To bash skulls open.

The Guy That Can Disappear and Come Back Out of Nowhere

GOT: Gendry, USA: Tupac

Gendry just straight up disappeared for about 4 seasons. And I’m a firm believer that Tupac is alive in Cuba and will one day come back. So yeah, that’s about all these two have in common though.

The Sacrificial Lamb

GOT: Beric Dondarrion, USA: Kid Rock

Beric has died like 6 times or something, and up until yesterday when I saw he was running for Senate I would’ve bet my life Kid Rock was dead.